The days are long, but the years are short.

We just got home from the girls' fourth birthday party. 4TH BIRTHDAY. What?! We are less than a week away from their actual birthday and every year at this time, I become nostalgic. I remember May 2011 vividly. I was as big as a house. A hundred times per day I wondered whether I was going to go into labour at that moment, knowing in my gut that my babies were staying in until they were forced out. This is the last photo that I have of myself…2 1/2 weeks before their eviction. I really wish I had one from the 38 week mark.

36 weeks pregnant

The years fly by. 

The days are long. These days they're damn long. For the first time in four years, I finish many days thinking that I would rather go back to work. I don't want to sound ungrateful. I'm glad that I'm able to spend these years with the girls. But lately, our days are brutal. And hey, everyone can say they dislike their job at some point, right? The days are long and exhausting, filled with tears, fights, tantrums and more tears, from all of us. 

They say that as kids approach their birthday, the shift from one developmental stage to another can cause behavioural issues. "They" are certainly right. Easy-going Teagan has taken a backseat to Tantrum Teagan. Tantrum Teagan, or TT for short, has been throwing fits like we've never seen. Whenever we head into a store, any store, TT zeros in on an item (or two) that she MUST. HAVE. NOW. She starts with a "Mommy, can I have ___?" When I tell her that we aren't going to buy ___ today, she starts. She yells and demands that I buy it for her immediately. She starts crying and screaming and has even hit me. This is all new. She's testing limits like I've never seen. 

The back talk. Oh man. The talking back is horrendous. "Quinny, please pick up the napkins that you threw on the floor." "NO! YOU pick them up, Mommy. YOU threw them." Right. And if I become frustrated after asking them to put on their shoes for the 5th time, I'm lectured by Teagan about how I'm being rude.

The fighting. Q is a sh*t disturber. She knows how to push T's buttons and does it quite subtly and cleverly. She pushes until T loses it. T's current way of handling Q is awful -- biting, hitting, pushing. So, T bites and Q screams bloody murder. A massive fight ensues. Sometimes I step in, but sometimes I sit back and let them go at it.

The tantrums, hitting, back talk. It's hard not to take it personally. I'm with them all the time. Am I doing something wrong?

I know it's a phase. I'm hoping that this phase magically ends on Friday at 7:28am. Teagan's birth day and time.

The years are oh so short. I cannot believe that four years have passed since those two little monkeys came into our lives. I cannot believe the little people that they've become. Yes, challenging at times. But, incredibly sweet, loving and hilarious little people who stop in mid-play to run over and whisper in my ear, I love you. I must not be messing up that badly, right?!