We have hit that stage. Everything is "MINE!" said with such conviction. Not surprisingly, Quinn started this one first. It usually comes out as myyyyyyyy! and is often yelled. If Teagan even looks in the direction of a toy, Quinn promptly claims it as her own. Teagan is no angel though. She has quickly picked up on this. It usually turns into a battle of wills with two toddlers yelling "myyyy!" at one another.
Quinn has also started using no a lot more. I knew that one was only a matter of time. What makes it quite amusing is that she never says a simple no, she usually has to shake her head and say no, no, no. But, did you also know that no means yes and yes means no and sometimes no and yes can actually be the same thing? I didn't, until recently.
In other news, Teagan has started bullying random children when we are out. For some reason, she has her defenses up and wallop or grab another child for absolutely no reason. While playing in one of those small Ikea tents at an indoor playground this morning, another little girl walked in only to be taken down by the wrath of Teagan. T took this little girl's cheek in her fingers and pinched with all of her might. The little girl's mother grabbed her crying daughter quickly. I apologized to the little girl and told Teagan that we don't pinch and asked her to show me gentle. I've read that you aren't supposed to punish an aggressive behaviour like that, and should instead promptly tell the child that "we don't do ___" and remind them how to be gentle. Aggressive behaviours should not be dealt with aggressively. If you have had a child who has done something similar, what did you do?
Parenting ain't for the faint of heart...
I agree that you shouldn't respond with aggression. We always ask our kids to apologize and remind them that hitting is not acceptable. Now that they're older, I often remind them that no one around here hits them, so they are not allowed to hit each other (or other children) either.
ReplyDeleteOur daycare always said to remove the child from the situation with a stern "No, we don't hit/bite/pinch" and then make a big fuss over making sure the hurt child is okay. This shows them that being aggressive isn't going to get them any attention. We used this strategy here when the kids were younger and it seemed to work. You could see the wheels turning as the hitter watched us give tons of attention to the hit-ee until we were sure the "victim" wasn't badly hurt.
We also are constantly reminding our kids to use their words instead of reacting physically when they're angry with each other. I am constantly reminding them that first they should ask their brother to stop, and if that doesn't work, they need to ask a grown-up for help. I don't know when they get control over their impulses but it hasn't happened yet! At least not with each other. Which is why I find myself repeating this lesson 10 times a day. LOL.
I feel like I'm also repeating the same lesson again and again. I guess it is my lesson in patience ;)
DeleteI'm just sorry. I have 5 kids who have all been aggressive mine'rs. I still have to keep an eye on my little boys who are 4. Ryan is known for hitting children and it's usually just for the hell of it.
ReplyDelete(we're having him evaluated....I'm sure somethings wrong with him :)
That said. My older 3 kids can TOTALLY go to the park, McDonalds, a friends house. and they don't ever hit. :) See.....something to look forward to.
This too shall pass.
It's not easy. You feel like an ass and want to wear a sign that says....I do not teach my children to hit nor do I teach by example.
Just calmly and consistently remind and remove and redirect.
and when that still doesn't work.
laugh. and remember when some crazy woman told you to relax...this too shall pass.
Good luck !
I need a crazy woman to tell me to relax more often!
DeleteI always remove our toddler from the situation when he hurts someone. I tell him not to do that and put him in a spot for a moment, away from whatever he was doing. He gets it and after a moment, I will talk to him about how we use gentle hands.
ReplyDeleteI think a moment away from the situation is a great way for them to shift their mindset from whatever crazy, aggressive place they were in.
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