"Human beings speak to other human beings. Some of them are big,
some of them are small. But they communicate."
some of them are small. But they communicate."
~ Francoise Dolto (1908-1988), French psychoanalyst
Dolto changed the way that children are perceived, giving them a chance to express themselves. She did not believe in the old saying of "children should be seen and not heard." Not only did she actually listen to children, she also spoke to them like they were human equals, unlike many adults of her time. Even when she was at the end of her life, attached to an oxygen tank, she would still get down on the floor to talk to children.
I've never understood "cutesy" baby talk. I babysat a ton through my teenaged years and never talked like that to young kids. I may have used simpler words and talked slightly slower, but for the most part I spoke to them like I would one of my peers. This is how I've been with Teagan and Quinn as well. I don't talk down to them. If I ask them a question that I don't think they have understood, I'll try again in a different way or I'll show them what I'm asking.
Whenever I'm asking something of the girls, I say please and thank you. I think that this is something that can easily be forgotten when talking to a young toddler. I'm a stickler for manners. I recognize that it can be tough when your toddler is testing you and you end up having to ask them 100 times not do something. I have a newfound respect for daycare and preschool teachers.
I think that babies and toddlers understand far more than we sometimes give them credit for. The girls surprise me all the time. They are like little sponges, soaking up words and expressions constantly. Last week, I said something to Quinn about her hair. She promptly starting pulling at a few strands. I never taught her the word hair but somehow she knows it. I find that that is happening more and more these days.
How do you speak to your babies and toddlers? Are there particular things that you do or avoid doing?
Whenever I'm asking something of the girls, I say please and thank you. I think that this is something that can easily be forgotten when talking to a young toddler. I'm a stickler for manners. I recognize that it can be tough when your toddler is testing you and you end up having to ask them 100 times not do something. I have a newfound respect for daycare and preschool teachers.
I think that babies and toddlers understand far more than we sometimes give them credit for. The girls surprise me all the time. They are like little sponges, soaking up words and expressions constantly. Last week, I said something to Quinn about her hair. She promptly starting pulling at a few strands. I never taught her the word hair but somehow she knows it. I find that that is happening more and more these days.
How do you speak to your babies and toddlers? Are there particular things that you do or avoid doing?
I try not to talk down to The Bean, but I will admit that I use some words like "bum bum" that I would never say to an adult.
ReplyDeleteThe past few months he's been going through a CRAZY language explosion. It's amazing how much he says and can understand now. It makes him seem like much more of a kid versus a baby.
He is such a kid now! I look forward to the language explosion in our house too. While the girls comprehension is excellent, they seem to chose to not use the actual words.
DeleteThey understand so much more than most give them credit for. I do not baby talk much at all with Little Monster. When his speech therapist encouraged us to use SIMPLISTIC wording with him when we started therapy a year ago, it drove me crazy because I am very much a conversationalist. I was so relieved when we got past that! Much like Allison said, occasionally I find myself saying things to him I would not say to an adult, but more on the silly side (We refer to the butt as "rumpus"). We do greatly encourage back and forth communication and always allow him to have a say. For sure not a "children should be seen and not heard" family :)
ReplyDeleteAt what age did he start seeing a speech therapist? I remember you blogging about it so I'm going to go back and read. As I mentioned in my reply to Allison, I do feel slightly concerned that the girls seem to be choosing to not use their words yet.
DeleteWe don't use baby talk either, although like Allison said, occasionally a "baby" word they come out with will stick, like we always called bottles "babas". But we always have real conversations with our children, ask for their opinions on things, let them help plan the day, etc. Erik, in particular, has always seemed to be able to have regular, adult conversations and really pays attention to language. I do think we sometimes talk to them in a higher voice than we would another adult, especially when it's something exciting, like if Ian got dressed all by himself and we're excited for him.
ReplyDeleteThere was this mom at our daycare who talked baby talk to her daughter. Real baby talk. Like, "Mommy wiw be back water. Mommy woves you!" I almost couldn't believe it and found myself staring in shock a few times.
I've definitely heard some of that kind of baby talk in the park as well. I think that you can have fun and be animated without talking down to your kid :)
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