We have biters on our hands. Fortunately for me, they are not biting while nursing. They've done it a few times, although I know that it was usually accidental. If they bite on purpose, the nursing session is promptly over. This is always extremely upsetting to them.
We call Teagan "big love." She has a huge smile and will grab on and give us a huge hug. The problem...the big hug is usually accompanied by a big "love bite" on the shoulder. Sometimes we'll receive love bites on our legs or arms as well. Saying "ow" or "no" has proven to be hilarious. Our new tactic is to ignore her entirely. If she bites, we put her down and do something else.
The real biting issue that we're experiencing is between the girls. Quinn has a very strong personality. She's determined and knows what she wants. The problem is that what she wants is usually what Teagan has (no surprise, I know). The other problem is that Quinn almost always gets what she wants. This results in a show-down for the toy, followed by tears on Teagan's end. Teagan then tries to fight back resulting in Quinn grabbing her hand or arm and chomping down. I know that in this situation, Teagan sounds like the victim. Don't be fooled though. She has been known to chomp down in Quinn's arm, back or even head out of frustration as well.
I've been reading about toddlers recently. Sometimes I'm not watching closely enough to know exactly what happened. When we do witness the biting, the biter is usually told "no biting" and is then ignored. One expert said that immediately taking away attention is the best way to handle it. A one-year old can obviously not understand a lengthy speech about consequences.
I know that many of you have experienced situations like this. What worked well for you?
Another thing I've read is to make a really big fuss over the child who was bitten. Lots of, "Are you okay? It really hurts when someone bites, doesn't it?" etc. and don't give attention to the child who bit.
ReplyDeleteI read that too. We usually try to do this after a biting incident :)
DeleteThe Bean (thankfully) hasn't bitten in anger often, but when he does we say a firm "no" and put him in his crib for a one minute time out, telling him, "It's not nice to bite. It hurts (whoever). You have a time out." He's usually pretty upset during the time out, but it's not long and we want him to understand that biting is not acceptable behaviour. After the time out we go back to whatever we were doing.
ReplyDeleteWhen did you start the time-outs? Do you think he understands why he's in there?
DeleteLittle Monster was never a biter, thank goodness, but we have experience with our godson who was a serious biter...to the point of being expelled from daycare. His mother tried the "no biting" stern talk approach and it was zero effective. Finally a friend who is a child developmental specialist piped in and saved the day. She said that because biting is really a normal part of development (exploration with a body part at its best) and even more prevalent during teething years, as Q and T are, that the goal is not to prevent the biting as to show them acceptable things to bite. It took about 3 weeks, but every.single.time our godson bit a person, another child, breast during feeding, etc., he was promptly removed from activity and given a pacifier or chew toy (his favorite was the frozen variety) and firmly told "THIS is for biting not [fill in blank]" and although it did take a team effort with daycare staff, grandparents, and babysitter, it did eventually work! The funny part is that now 5 years old, and 3 and half years of biting recovery under his belt, he still grabs for a blanket or soft toy to chew on when he get frustrated...BUT he does not bite others! Good luck with those headstrong little girls :)
ReplyDeleteThis is a great idea! Thank you. I will definitely try this, especially with Teagan and her "love bites."
Deletetime.
ReplyDeletegood luck !
Luke was (cough still is) our biter. When he was little, he got a stern "NO BITE!" and my finger on his lips so he knew what "bite" meant.
ReplyDeleteFor us, Luke bit most when he was tired. Once we moved him to a new daycare with a better nap environment, he improved a ton. The source for you seems to be much more complicated, but addressing biting triggers may be helpful too.
Oh, and once they hit 18 months, they got a 90 second timeout the instant they even opened their mouth to bite. It's definitely a work in progress. Good luck!
Our situation is a bit more complicated but I do find that saying "no biting" sometimes works. Work in progress indeed!
DeleteCaden & Garren are both going through the same thing but because their attempt at biting usually starts with a bear hug to the other one I can usually correct them before the actual bite happens. Even though we have 3 of most things, they still all want the same one!!! I usually just say their name & "no biting." When they hear their name they are distracted from whet they were doing & look at me. They are also teething like crazy, K has cut 5 in a month, C has cut 4 & G has cut 2 & they all have more on the way... :o(
ReplyDeleteI try this if I catch one of them going in for a bite. I'll say their name sternly, followed by "no biting." It seems to distract them as well.
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