If you read my posts from the days of 4 or 5-month old Teagan and Quinn, you would be amazed. Teagan started sleeping from 7pm-7am at the age of 10 weeks. She was a dream. At that age, Quinn would sleep from 7pm-5am. I would feed her for about 10 minutes and she would go back to sleep until 7am. I was getting 7 consecutive hours of sleep! How many parents of 4-month olds can say that?!
We worked hard to get the girls sleeping that well though. We started establishing good sleep habits from day one.
Don't fret sleep deprived parents, it is our turn now. Sleep regression is far worse. When your baby is 4 months old, you don't expect to get 8 consecutive hours of sleep. The bar was set high for us from early on so now I'm frequent disappointed...and sleep deprived. For the last several weeks, Teagan has been letting out screams/cries at around 10/11pm. Usually it's brief and she's back to sleep, but there have been quite a few days where it turns into full on crying. We've tried everything from letting her cry to nursing her to patting and shushing her. Throughout the night she will often let out several more screams. She usually wakes around 4:30/5am and cries. She's not sick. She's not in pain. If we do pick her up, she falls asleep on our shoulder almost instantly. I believe that she's dealing with separation anxiety from me, but honestly, who knows for sure. She also has a ton of trouble going down for naps. She almost always cries herself to sleep. We have tried standing with her patting her and shushing her but have found that it usually prolongs the issue. The crying is not hysterical and she'll alternate between crying and babbling to herself. I do not want to rock her or nurse her to sleep. I have two babies to deal but also want her to learn how to self-soothe...or I guess I should say RE-learn to self-soothe.
These bedtime sleep issues have caused me a lot of anxiety. I desperately need my sleep. I need my 8 hours. I'm a diva like that. I need the sleep in order to take care of them in the best possible way. After the girls go to bed, I find myself wondering and worrying about how the night is going to go. I spent a portion of my evening googling "sleep regression in 11 month olds," trying to find answers. I know that babies will be babies and unfortunately sleep issues come with the territory. While I know there is nothing I can do to control how the night is going to go, that doesn't make those few hours any easier.
Sleep regression is incredibly frustrating and discouraging when we have experienced amazing, self-soothing sleep-through-the-nighters. Jenn and I are constantly looking at each other asking, "what should we do?" We are at a loss.
This too shall pass.
Feel free to pass on your encouraging stories of full nights' sleep after rough patches!
Both our kids are good sleepers too. Erik started sleeping through the night around 2 months (naps were another story!) and Ian took longer but has slept through since about 8 or 9 months. We also worked hard at getting them to sleep and self-soothe if they did wake up.
ReplyDeleteI found the kids always had disruptions with their sleep when they were about to meet a new milestone or teething. It was terrible while it lasted but was usually brief.
Erik went through a phase when he was about 2.5 (right around the time our second was born!) where he was waking up every night about 3 hours after he went to sleep (so around 10 or 11), crying. I found that if I went in just before that time and tucked him in, gave him a kiss, jostled him just enough so he knew I was there, it seemed to get him through that time without the screaming, full-on wake-up and he would sleep the rest of the night.
One other thing was we always had a rule that we waited a minute or two if they woke up to see if they would settle themselves. They usually did. If they didn't, we'd go in but we didn't pick them up (unless they needed a diaper change.) We would pat their backs, sing, turn music on, whatever we could do without picking them up. We found picking them up made the whole thing last longer because then they don't want you to put them down. At first they would cry a lot because we weren't picking them up, but after a while, we could soothe them very quickly by just going in, turning on the music and patting their backs for a few seconds. They got so they just needed to know we were there, but didn't need to be picked up.
Good luck. I hope this just a little bump in the road for you and that you'll be getting your 8 hours again soon!
Thanks Shannon. It's reassuring to know that the disruptions were brief for you :)
DeleteWe also have a rule that we wait for a bit to see if they will settle themselves. More often than not, they do. From early on we also did everything we could to not pick them up. We try to stay strong but on those nights when we are completely exhausted, we will sometimes give in and pick them up.
Oh yeah, we gave in sometimes too when they seemed really inconsolable or we were just too tired.
DeleteOur boys started sleeping through the night at 4 months too :o) They (especially Kellan) go through periods of sleep regression, but we have had a lot going on as of recent, with moving & traveling. I also believe it is more separation anxiety than anything else. I have just been cuddling them more. I cringe when I put them down & they cry for 2 or 3 minutes, I'm not a" cry it out" kind of parent but right now it's all that works, thankfully it only last a couple minutes. I hate change & I hate it more for them, but soon we will all be settled again & it will be just another one of those memories...
ReplyDeleteI hope Teagan settles down soon & you go back to getting your beauty rest :o)
I'm not a big fan of cry-it-out either. Listening to them cry is really painful for me, especially with Teagan for some reason. Last night was better so hopefully it is the start of things moving in the right direction :)
DeleteI'm so impressed by your boys - they seemed to handle the move really well!
Have you tried a calm toy that would entertain her? We had a similar problem with our son at roughly the same age. We put his leapfrog Scout and his baby Einstein music player in the corners of his crib and he quickly started to hit the nighttime music button on Scout or play classical on the player when he wasn't tired enough or was a little stressed. It worked wonders. Six months later, we still occasionally hear music going off in the middle of the night through the monitor when he has trouble falling right back to sleep and he often plays with those toys when he wakes up in the morning. I'm not sure if it matters so much what the toys are, just that they are interesting without being stimulating. I do think the calming music on Scout was really helpful. Good luck (and sweet dreams to all of you!).
ReplyDeleteKelly
We actually picked up a calm toy/lovey this weekend for her. Quinn takes a soother which really calms her but Teagan rejected the soother many months ago.
DeleteI LOVE the idea of music, especially since Teagan has really taken to different types of music. My only fear is that the music would wake Quinn if she turned it on. Hopefully her little blankie will help :)
Oh, I'd forgotten about the Ocean Wonders! Ian never cared for it but it was a lifesaver with Erik, he would turn it on himself too.
DeleteNeither of our girls STTN until 6-7 mo, and even now they don't sleep past 5:30-6. But I totally understand - it is hard, so hard, now when they wake up randomly. Ugh. I don't know how we made it :)
ReplyDeletePaityn started doing the same thing around a year old. She's been a champion sleeper at night since about 5 months old (not such a great napper). We finally figured out it was her molars coming in, but at the point where they were hitting the nerve and not actually breaking through the gum. It seems to always happen about a month before the tooth actually starts to make its appearance. The pacifier really helps her, although we try not to give it to her much anymore. Also, once she wakes up screaming one night, she'll continue to wake up and scream every night, so now our plan of action is to go and check on her the first time and make sure she's ok...if she seems calm and fine when we pick her up, we'll rock her for about 5 minutes and then put her back down and just have to let her cry or else she'll keep waking up. If she seems to be in a ton of pain we'll try the pacifier first and then Tylenol when all else fails! Good luck!!! It's no fun at all.
ReplyDeleteOh, I hope this is a brief phase for you guys. Jen and I also don't do well with little sleep --I don't know how we made it through the first six months! We've had a few minor setbacks with illness but the pacifier and his "lovely" help calm him. Hopefully T's new blankie does the trick.
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